Grassy Gardening

Greetings.

The following text was written on a flyer posted on the notice board outside Lorelei's Pawn shop, Glandivalis Square, Dock Town:

A Chance at Life: A Story of Hope for Grass Kind

Attention, valued reader!

Have you heard the news? The people of Dock Town - & possibly elsewhere - have upped their gardening game and gone on a watering rampage! No dead/dying patch of scrub is being spared! Even the most depressingly limp and lifeless blade of grass is receiving a well-deserved drink!

We had the rare and exclusive opportunity to interview one anonymous individual from the upper city who claims to be a first-hand witness to this movement's birth! Read on to learn what they had to say and how this excitement began!

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"Dear citizens.

Have you ever felt that some of the grass of our city lacked vitality? That those depressing, grey, barely living clumps spread abundantly throughout our shining capital needed some tender loving care in the form of a good, proper water? It's not as if the unnatural rainfall has ever done anything! Let the grass live, I say!

Just a short week ago, I, a regular visitor to the lower city, witnessed a noticeably irritated man leave the tavern known as the Cobbled Swan. Now you might say, "well, that is hardly an unusual event. Plenty of people enter and exit the Cobbled Swan, and other establishments" - and you would be right! But I kid you not, as he descended the stairs and began walking towards the market, he stopped, bent over, took an audible inhalation and yelled, "stop being dead!" at a patch of grass. Several pedestrians were so startled by the event that they ran towards the boats moored nearby! One unfortunate fellow even managed to scramble up a gangway, only to fall into the water! A dockhand did manage to pull the poor sod out with a fishing pole, and I have heard they have since made a full recovery from the traumatic experience.

Additionally, I believe the ferocity with which the tavern patron let out his impromptu exclamation was in fact so great, that it caused the grassy patch visible distress! The patch seemed to recoil from him in terror! Not only that, but it actually began to wither even further only a few moments later! Poor thing!

While the man's enthusiasm was commendable, I felt that his means of expressing it wa