Habby Dogs

In a world where ctOS works as advertised by its creators, Windy City ranks #1 for happiness and safety

- and our beloved protagonists just can't stop grinning.

They really, really try, but our AI overlords demand that our legitimate peacekeepers continue exercising their cheeks and showing their pristine teeth, in a seemingly endless 51 second loop set to the best royalty-free upbeat music we could find. As far as variations on repetition go, this serious effort might not rival Deathloop or Twelve Minutes, but it is guaranteed to cheer up the main menu of a game (one where you actually can't watch dogs), to heights not felt since the 2012 and 2013 editions of a likely now-defunct trade show.

I created this exquisite masterpiece based on a hilarious meme video by BubsyWubbus. I spent an unadmittable amount of time capturing source material, asking computers to daydream happier characters, merging the resulting imagery and remixing the original main menu video... And then I realized that, to complete the shitpost by turning it into an actual publishable mod, I'd have to spend additional time finding an inferior royalty-free replacement for the original meme soundtrack (which was based on an excerpt of Touch by Daft Punk). Was it worth it? Well, it was worth as much as it is to play the online modes of a nearly decade old game with fewer than 500 concurrent players. And now, I can exhale air through the nose every time I decide to revisit Ubisoft's rendition of not-Chicago.

We do what we must,

because we really shouldn't!