TRUMP WINS - Election Shitpost Level

"Let me tell you something, these bad hombres threatening our way of life don't just come from Mexico. We got all kinds of nasty people around the world. Take the Yakuza. They come up to me and say, 'Hey Donald! We liked your show and book, and we wanna be just like you. Join us or get your balls chopped off.' Now, let me tell you, I've been polling well with the Japanese, 20-30% approve of the job I'm doing, but it isn't worth getting my balls chopped off for. Let's not pretend the Yakuza don't know what they're doing. They know exactly what they're doing. And my response is to not give an inch. My reprisal against them is gonna be yuuuge. I tracked them down to a Chinese place half a block from Trump Tower, where they're also running a sauna and a secret base in the sewers. They're gonna wish they never crossed the God Emperor of Mankind, Donald J. Trump, himself." This is a Pardo level vs the Yakuza, only with Donald Trump as the protagonist. Why? Because he won the election, and I figured we could all use some lighthearted laughs. If Hillary had won, I would have done something similar with Alex & Ash and the Russian Mafia.